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Many people are frustrated with their dating life.
Instead of getting to know each other romantically, breakfast in bed and happy to the end of their days, the free chat offers them above all disappointments, frustration, and drama. No wonder men and women send me emails every day describing their dating problems and asking for help.
Not infrequently, these emails have the length of a novel…
No matter if you sent me one of these e-mails or not, in this article I will explain the solution to most of your dating problems.
And do not worry, this article is not the length of a novel.
THE CAUSE OF 99% OF ALL DATING PROBLEMS
Most dating issues have the same cause.
I know that sounds like a cheap saying from the front page of a lifestyle magazine. But let me explain that for a moment. Whether you’re male or female, young or old, fat or thin, most of your dating issues arise because you invest your time and energy in people who do not say yes to you.
You have been flirting with this attractive workmate for months and trying to get him on a date, but somehow he never says yes? You’ve been writing back and forth with this hot blonde for weeks, but whenever you propose a meeting, does not she answer or dodge? You have had an affair with a married man for years and he promised you a long time ago that he divorces to start a new life with you, but nothing happens? You were in bed with somebody and now he does not report any more or only sporadically?
All these people do not say yes to you clearly. And if over the years I’ve learned about dating, then it’s not worth investing our time and energy in people who do not say yes to us.
I’m damn serious.
Stop wanting to conquer people who do not say yes to you. It is not worth.
For one thing, it’s not worth it, because we often engage in games, manipulate, make false hopes, transgress our own boundaries, and lose all self-respect and integrity. On the other hand, it is not worth it, because in 99% of the cases, all the trouble is in vain, since these people ultimately do not opt?? For us. We can hardly control whether a particular person finds us attractive or not. And above all, we should not.
Unfortunately, much of the dating industry claims just the opposite.
So you are recommended concrete methods or behavioral tips, with which you can allegedly influence what other people want or feel. You know, all that nonsense in the style of “make yourself scarce, show mixed signals, make the other person jealous, let him fidget, be alpha, wait with the call so and so many days, but do not write that” and blah, blah, blah.
These tips do not work in 99% of the cases. Do yourself a favor and leave the nonsense.
The thing is very simple: Either someone is interested in you or he is not.
IF SOMEONE DOES NOT WRITE YOU BACK…
Have you ever met someone, exchanged phone numbers, reported you but got no answer? Yes? Me too.
It is a bad feeling.
But, you know what?
If someone does not contact you, it’s not 99% that you’re reporting on a wrong day, suggesting the wrong time for a meeting, using a question mark instead of an exclamation point, or a smiley too much, too little, or the wrong one Smiley send.
If someone does not answer you, 99% of the time it’s because he’s not interested in you. And you can hardly change that. Either somebody wants to meet you or not. It makes little difference when or how you report. No, that does not mean that you should first send a nude photo, a marriage proposal or a self-written poem. But I think you understand what I want to tell you.
I have served women from different cultures and in different countries.
Each of these women was interested in me from the first meeting.
If I contacted them and suggested a meeting, they answered. It does not matter if I have registered one, two, three or seven days after the first meeting.
It does not matter if I contacted you via text message, email, Facebook, dating sites like free chat, free chat rooms, and talk to strangers, or call.
These women were interested in me and wanted to meet me. Point.
On the other hand, I was not on a date with any woman who was only half-interested after the first meeting.
So I did not have a wife who only occasionally wrote me back after getting to know me, did not answer until two weeks later, or answered “Loll” or “I do not know” if I suggested a meeting.
Not a single!
And believe me, I’ve spent countless hours wondering when to answer, if I’d better write a message or call and what exactly I could do to get her on a date. All for free. So, if you have ever wondered when it would be best to get in touch with someone and how best to contact you, leave it alone. It does not matter if you call or send a message with a smiley or a normal smiley, either someone wants to meet you or he does not want it.
Now you have developed feelings for this person and you want to have a relationship with him. The problem: Whenever you address the topic, open yourself emotionally or spend more time with this person, it is distanced. Now you can use all these stupid dating tips and even distance yourself, make him jealous or play other games to get him into a relationship.
Maybe it even works.
But most likely, this will be an unhealthy relationship and sooner or later there will be a lot of drama and disappointment. And then I get an email from you in the length of a novel in which you explain to me that all men are ” disgusting assholes ” or all women “stupid sluts” that relationships are nonsensical anyway and that you’re from now on to live alone and lonely in a cave on a mountain.
In my book The Art of Honest Dating, I’ll go into more detail on this topic to join free chat rooms.
I explain that if we avoid unhealthy relationships, we will become more attractive in the long run because our self-image improves and we radiate integrity.
(You have not found your dream partner yet and you still have not read the book, what the hell are you waiting for, that I’m going to kneel and beg you? You can order the book here.)
So the best dating tip I can give you is to invest your time and energy in the people who say yes to you.
People who decide for you. People you are a priority for. People who want to be with you as much as you want to be with them.
And you can apply this tip to many dating situations:
You’ve fallen in love with your work colleagues?
You want to win back your ex-partner?
You are in love with your best friend or girlfriend?
You wish to have a relationship with someone?
Then be honest, direct and open.
Make a date for your co-worker, tell your ex that you want it back, make it clear to your best friend that you want more than friendship, and tell that someone you want a relationship with him.
In response, you will either get a yes or something else.
And if you do not get a clear yes, stop running after that person.
This person does not want to be with you.
Forget dating games, manipulative behaviors, and all the other nonsense – it does not work in most cases anyway.
What Dating is all about
We have little influence on whether a specific person finds us attractive or not, whether she wants to get to know us or not, or whether she wants to be with us or not.
That’s why dating is not about convincing people with tricks and games, but about attracting people who say yes to us from the beginning. People who are as interested in us as we are in them.
Only then do we attract the right people and form the basis for fulfilling true love relationships.
So do yourself a favor and invest your time, energy and feelings in the people who say yes to you. Maybe that does not solve 99% of your dating problems, but it will make a lot easier, more harmonious, and more beautiful.
And if you do not like this tip, you can still move lonely and alone into a cave on a mountain.
Did you like this article? Then my book The Art of Honest Dating: How to Attract the Right Partner without Games and Drama. You will love it.
Do you not get to know any potential partners or do you always come across the wrong partners? Then join a free chat room and learn how to attract the right partner. Only cool tips.